Category Archives: Mother’s Day

Things I’ve learned from Mom

Mom wasn’t perfect but did the best she could.  She taught me the usual things like please and thank you, showing respect to others and not lying. The last I learned the hard way.  Actually, I learned a lot of things the hard way.

June & Gail Olmsted June 1956

We didn’t really get along since childhood and even as an adult she treated me like a child.  Until one visit in my early 50s when I put my foot down and wouldn’t allow that any more.

June, Francis & Helen Loomis 1935

I’ve always wondered what her Mother was like when she was growing up.  Probably very different than the Grandma I knew.

I grew up thinking there were way too many rules but now I know that children need boundaries.

As a child I learned not to make waves around the family.  My brother was very good at causing trouble and I didn’t want to be like him. So instead I learned from my mostly emotionless family to stuff it.  Thank goodness I went to therapy later as a young woman and relearned that emotions are OK, that I have the choice how to react emotionally.

Mom’s emotional reactions always seemed to include anger.  I lived like that also for a while and my brother still does.  But I decided to move away from anger and embrace happiness, love and a passion for life.

June Loomis High School gradution 1940s

Mom always seemed like an unhappy person and I tried for years to figure out why.  Ultimately, I will never know for sure but suspect she never realized her own personal dreams.  That’s enough to make anybody unhappy.  So in reverse, I learned to follow my dreams.

I didn’t grow up with encouragement to follow my heart but I guess she didn’t really know how to do that herself.  I was born in the 50s, when little girls were still expected to just get married and raise children.  And although I did eventually marry and become a step-Mom that wasn’t my dream.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I had those opportunities to learn and love and share.  Yet I’m sure I’d be a better Mom in my 50s than I was in my 20s.  Not that I want to start over.

June in car Padre Island TX

Only in the last of Mom’s life did I understand that she considered herself a slave.  And maybe by her earlier actions I learned not to be a slave to anyone, including myself.

I may have learned more from my Mom since she passed away simply by reflecting.  Most of the time I didn’t like my mother for the seemingly mean and angry personality she demonstrated.  But I love her, and I thank her every day for the lessons she taught me.

June 1970s

June Francis Loomis Olmsted 1927 – 2011

Happy Mother’s Day!